In bare naked honesty, I have really had to think about this. With guilt in my heart, I have been pondering. Do I love Jesus because I need Him, because He rescues me from myself and gives me hope in a hopeless world, or because He is my Father and friend, so close to my heart that I would miss Him if He were gone? Do I know Him well enough to miss the sound of His voice, the way He can make me laugh, our deep conversations and our silly ones, and all of the type of things I would miss if some earthly one who is dear to me passed away?
I began to think of our first parents. Created in the midst of perfection. There was no "need" for God in the fact that there was no sin to be rescued from, no brokenness, no hurt, no coping, no stress, no death, no financial lack or need at all, none of the things that we seem to think "I wouldn't know how to deal with ______ without God". He created us simply for fellowship. He does not need us. We do need Him. But do we want Him even more than we need Him?
A relationship, a deep, known, vulnerable, mutual relationship with an invisible God. We have made it such an unusual thing but we weren't made for anything else. I am so incredibly humbled.
