Ready to Jump

I read this on a blog that I follow this morning and these words that God spoke to her spoke directly to my heart as well. I am truly tired of playing it safe in life. Ready to take some leaps.

"Walk by faith, not by sight. As you take stepsof faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. that's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength."

Highly Recommended

I am listening to the "Heaven" series from Pastor Steve Berger of Grace Chapel here in Leipers Fork. Here is a link to purchase the series. I strongly recommend it. As he says, we spend our whole lives proclaiming that this present life is but a breath and we look forward to the eternal yet none of us really know anything about what Heaven will be like. We spend no time in pursuit of understanding what God will allow us to understand about it; this place where we will spend eternity.

For me, Heaven has been a source of immense anxiety in my past. I am a person who needs to know something about what to expect. And I've finally realized that that's OK. But no one could ever tell me anything other than, "it's gonna be great". Well that wasn't enough for me. An endless amount of "great" wasn't enough information.

I think this is a must for your resource library. I see myself referring back to this series many times in the rest of my life.

http://gracechapel.net/resources/

Wintertime

"Late lies the wintry sun abed,

A frosty, fiery sleepyhead;

Blinks but an hour or two; and then,

A blood-red orange, sets again.

Before the stars have left the skies,

At morning in the dark I rise;

And shivering in my nakedness,

By the cold candle, bathe and dress.

Close by the jolly fire I sit

To warm my frozen bones a bit;

Or with a reindeer-sled, explore

The colder countries round the door.

When to go out, my nurse doth wrap

Me in my comforter and cap;

The cold wind burns my face, and blows

Its frosty pepper up my nose.

Black are my steps on silver sod;

Thick blows my frosty breath abroad;

And tree and house, and hill and lake,

Are frosted like a wedding cake."

---Robert Louis Stevenson

Is It Summer Yet?

I'm just sayin'.

Here Goes Nothing

For the first time I am "publicly" sharing some of my writing. Public, of course, only if someone reads it. Trust me this is more for me than for whoever may stumble across this blog.

Off and on through the years I have tried to be disciplined with my writing but inevitably it falls to the wayside smothered in excuses. I have no time. I have nothing worth writing about. I don't have enough content to actually create a book. What if no one likes it? What if I fail?

This was one of my writing assignments from a book I have called, "Wild Mind". Written February and March 2008

:::Take a situation, a story that is hard for you to talk about, and write about it. Write slowly, evenly, in a measured way. Don't skip over any part of it. Stay in there. It may take you several days, a week, a month to write out the whole thing. Continue to work in it until it is finished. :::

"It was out first double-date. My mind was already crowded with thoughts of our relationship and making it so vulnerable for the first time. After guarding against critics and opinions we were now letting these other two people in to view the inner-workings of 'us'. I was a little nervous. Jayme, of course was not. He was never one to spend much time analyzing what others thought of him.

Now, four years later there is much about that evening that I forget. And if it were not for the phone call I received I cannot be sure that I would remember any of it very well. With that phone call a seemingly insignificant night became a very memorable one.

We were driving to the bowling alley. It was cold. A mid-December evening and my body was still clenched tight adjusting to the cold leather seats while I waited for the heat to kick on. Jeremy drove. Caitlin beside him, and Jayme and I rode in the back. My cell phone rang. I looked and saw that it was my mom. I let it go to voicemail with the thought that I would call her later when I was not in a car with three other people.

The phone rang again. This time it was that dreaded ring when the thought crosses your mind, 'If they are calling again, something must be wrong'. So I answered it being careful not to convey my inward hesitations to my fellow passengers. We continued to drive past familiar places as I listened to my mother's voice on the other end of the phone, and what was a moment ago so familiar, now seemed so foreign. Distant really.

Though in reality she was no more than 20 miles from where I was, something seemed to separate us. A great divide. She began the conversation normally. "Hi honey, where are you?"I proceeded to tell her. She said something to the effect of, "i know this isn't the best time to tell you this, but Grampy passed away." She went on to tell me that his heart bypass surgery had initially gone well and recovery was going as normal, and in the midst of cracking jokes with the nurses, (a mighty trait of my grandfathers'), the monitors began to alarm and within seconds, he was gone.

3-1-08

I tried to process this information, as I placed on my brave face almost without knowing I had done it. For the sake of not ruining the evening, and not wanting to allow these people into even the shallowest of my emotions, I remained fairly non-expressive. I bottled the hurt, fought the tears and moved on with the evening. Jayme of course suspected more than I would allow him to see.

The evening commenced and apart from those few moments when the stillness sets in and pulls your mind to those deep places in the midst of your shallow activity, I did a great job of carrying on as if nothing had happened. The phone call was forgotten by all but me.

We bowled our last frame, bundled back up, and ventured once again into the cold. I don't remember anything about the ride home except that the wall I had built ad spent all night holding up was now beginning to tremble and my body ached from leaning against it so hard in a strained attempt to keep it up there.

By the time we had returned to Jayme's house the weight of my wall was caving in. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and instead turned the corner into Jayme's office. I found a blanket in the closet and a corner that looked suitable and I layed there and cried. No longer left with the choice not to feel the hurt. It overtook me.

Not long after, Jayme found me there and his presence brought me peace and comfort though I still would have liked to resist the sharing of these bare emotions if I could have."

Interrupted

Please please read this book and allow it to change your life. It's far-past time to do something.

"This is what God taught me through Judas at Jesus' table, eating the broken bread that was His body: We don't get to opt out of living on mission because we might not be appreciated. We're not allowed to neglect the oppressed because we have reservations about their discernment. We cannot deny love because it might be despised or misunderstood. We can't withhold social relief because we're not convinced it will be perfectly managed. Must we be wise? Absolutely. But doing nothing is a blatant sin of omission. turning a blind eye to the bottom on the grounds of 'unworthiness' is the antithesis to Jesus' entire mission."

"He became the offering for people who would slander His name with ferocity, yet His grace was theirs for the asking until they drew their last breaths, even if all they could offer Him was a lifetime of hatred and one moment of repentance."

Jen Hatmaker

"Interrupted"

It's The Great Pumpkin

I love how much we celebrate pumpkins this time of year. I'm not sure where the tradition began (maybe I'll look that up tonight) but I want to give a great big hug to the creative mind who began the grand pumpkin carving tradition. I have no idea what even made me do it tonight but I was inspired to search for unique carvings. Some are silly, some wildly creative, some incredibly

intricate and all totally enjoyable. Thought I'd share.

This next one made me jump a little with giddy joy. It's the death star. Magnificent.
I am going to do this one day.